My God, help me to survive this deadly freedom

, by Wiktoria Wilk

My God, help me to survive this deadly freedom

When Viktor Orbán finally conceded, the cameras did what they always do around power: they fixed their gaze on the stage. They searched for the right facial expression, the headline soundbite, the choreography of defeat. Somewhere amidst the crowd on Kossuth tér, two boys kissed beneath the floodlit Parliament. A phone captured the moment: a blurred gay kiss in the foreground and the sharp silhouette of a building that had spent sixteen years insisting that this exact gesture did not belong to the nation.

It was a scene reminiscent of Dmitri Vrubel’s famous mural on the Berlin Wall. Two men kissing, stone behind them, history turning. Vrubel painted Leonid Brezhnev and Erich Honecker locked in the socialist fraternal kiss, eyes clenched shut, mouths pressed together, with the desperate intensity of regimes clinging to each other as they went down. Underneath, in cramped Cyrillic, reads the caption: My God, help me to survive this deadly love. The official photo had been issued as propaganda, proof of unbreakable solidarity; the mural turned it inside out, branding the kiss as suffocation for the people trapped in their embrace.

Orbán’s Hungary was built on a different kind of deadly love. For years, he told Hungarians that he loved them more fiercely than Brussels ever could - that only his “illiberal democracy” could protect the Hungarian nation, the “Christian” Europe, and “normal” families from moral decay. Love, in his story, justified everything: his captured media, his packed courts, his gerrymandered constituencies. The slow strangling of independent institutions and separated powers. To criticise him was not to argue to a politician, it was to betray the Hungarian family.

“Nobody else will ever care for you like I do”

It was governance rebranded as romance, and like all bad romances it hung on a single thread: “nobody else will ever care for you like I do”. Queer people were written into his Hungary as the ex-partner he needed everyone to hate. Over the past decade, his Government rewrote the constitution to narrow what the “family” meant, restricted legal recognition of gender, and fused anti‑LGBTQ+ rhetoric with “child protection”.

The culmination of this came in 2025, when the Hungarian Parliament amended the law on assembly so that any event deemed to “promote or display homosexuality or gender change” to children could be banned. In practice, it meant outlawing Pride marches and similar events, giving police the power to use facial recognition systems to identify participants and threatening organisers with up to a year in prison and fines that could wipe out over a month’s wages.

The message for queer people was simple: merely existing in public had become a crime in Hungary. Budapest Pride, which was supposed to be celebrating its 30th anniversary, was formally banned, and Orbán warned of “legal consequences” for anyone who ignored this. Foreign ministries issued travel advisories; Hungary’s own justice minister wrote to EU embassies to remind them that attending a Pride march would be “an infraction” of their laws.

In response, tens of thousands still took to the streets, deliberately breaking the ban in a march that looked less like a festival and more like an explosion of pain and anger from people who decided the threat of consequences was less important than the truth. That is the backstory of the kiss in front of Parliament: one year, the government threatens people with fines and jail for walking together under a rainbow banner; the next year, the square is packed to celebrate the man behind those threats losing his grip over the state.

“This space was ours all along”

Seen against that backdrop, the Budapest kiss is not a decorative flourish on a story about democracy. It is a direct insult to the narrative Orbán spent years building. His government used the mask of “child protection” to argue that Pride, queer visibility, and even a trans rights vigil, were dangers that must be kept out of the public square. The new law effectively said: the street is not for you, the square is not for you, and Parliament definitely is not for you. Two boys kissing under Parliament, in a crowd that was not meant to be there for them at all, declared: “this space was ours all along”.

The temptation - in Brussels, New York, or indeed Berlin - is to treat that image as a clean, tidy catharsis. The strongman falls, the gay men kiss, and Europe is cured. This is the Instagram version of regime change: swipeable before‑and‑after pictures in which history obligingly behaves like a makeover show. But queer Hungarians know better. “Freedom” in a concession speech is not freedom at a banned demonstration, a police checkpoint, or a court hearing. The 2025 law that banned Pride and enabled authorities to scan faces and issue fines remains on the books; police and prosecutors are still testing how far they can push it.

The people who have already been charged for organising or supporting LGBT events are still waiting on constitutional challenges, and there is no guarantee that justice will prevail. This is why queerness cannot just be a metaphor for democratic rebirth; it has to be the stress test. A democracy that declares itself “back” while leaving in place a legal architecture that criminalises a Pride march or bans a trans visibility rally is not back - it is simply repainting the bars on the same cage.

“You will have to come back for the people he taught you to fear”

If a queer couple can only kiss on Kossuth tér when tens of thousands of straight people and foreign journalists are around to give them cover, then the new Hungary still resembles the old one more than people wish to admit. The real measure will be whether, a year from now, a Pride organiser can apply for a permit without wondering what kind of facial recognition database they will end up in after submitting their application. Here, the twist on Vrubel’s caption becomes useful: “My God, help me to survive this deadly freedom”.

Freedom, after a long and toxic relationship, is not a gentle glide into normalcy. It is a violent decompression. When you have been told for years that the man in charge is the only thing standing between your children and queer “propaganda,” discovering he has lost does not automatically switch off the fear he installed. People who learned to survive by shrinking themselves do not instantly unfold; institutions trained to please power do not wake up as neutral servants of the public.

Even the new leaders will inherit Orbán’s laws, his personnel, and his habits along with his office furniture. For queer citizens, surviving freedom means something very specific: making sure the state never again has the power to declare their presence in public illegal, to fine them for existing together in the street, to scan their faces at a march and send them invoices for it. It means not being reduced to a picturesque symbol in other people’s democracy porn. It means having the right to be ordinary, to hold hands in front of Parliament on a boring Wednesday, and to organise Pride without having to calculate fines into the budget.

The kiss in that photograph is not a happy ending, it is a dare. It throws down a challenge to the new government, to Hungarian society, and to a European Union that tolerated Orbán’s deadly love for years - just as long as he signed off on their budgets and border agreements. The dare is a simple one: “if you want to call this place a democracy again, you will have to come back for the people he taught you to fear”.

The new Government of Péter Magyar will have to repeal the laws that criminalise queer people, dismantle the surveillance tools aimed at them, and stop pretending that “child protection” is a legitimate objective rather than a weapon of misinformation. Vrubel painted two leaders whose kiss was supposed to reassure everyone that nothing would change. The boys in Budapest kiss to insist that something must. Between those images lies the real question of this moment: not just whether Hungary can survive Orbán’s deadly love, but whether it can build a freedom that queer people do not have to survive from.

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